[ being pushed on his back out of nowhere is surprising, but it also sends all sorts of emotions through atsushi. excitement, yes, and definitely arousal. this is exactly what he imagined it to be like. his teeth dig into his lip as he looks up at dazai. who would have thought he'd ever get to be so close to the man he's been attracted to for so long.. ]

You can do anything you want to do.

[ atsushi wants him to. no matter what dazai will end up doing to him, he'll probably love it and will be able to die happily. well, if dazai got up and left him, he'd be heartbroken for sure, but the memory of kissing dazai would comfort him a little. though he'd prefer it if they did even better things together. ]

I've been dreaming about this for so long..

[ he pauses as he reaches up to wrap his arms around dazai's neck and pull him closer, his hips bucking up to grind against dazai in the process. ]

I want Dazai-san to.. touch me and kiss me and.. fuck me..

[ the last part only comes out as a quiet whisper before he presses his lips to dazai's. atsushi is so embarrassed, but he's not lying either. if dazai wanted to fuck him, he'd be the last person to say no to that. ]